This is what depression looks like.
This is ALSO what depression looks like.
Just because somebody “looks” okay, it does not mean that they really are.
Many of us at this time of year are exhausted because we have to put on a mask each day. All day. Every single damn day.
We hide the loniliness we feel while others are relishing in family get toghthers and parties.
We hide the poverty while others flaunt their fancy decorations and extravigant gifts.
We smile at our children as they ask Santa for the latest gaming system. When we know that in reality all Santa can get them is the latest stock from “5 Below”.
We let our stomachs growl while wishing we had the energy and spirit to bake Christmas cookies. Some of us still do. And then we eat them all. Just to fill a void.
On Christmas day we wake up like it’s a normal day. We have good intentions. We know it is a joyous holiday. A purpose to celebrate the birth of the Lord. A holiday that spreads cheer and makes us love one another. But deep down, we wish we could just stay in bed. Skip the day all together. Black it out. It is hard for some to remember the days when we were young and we long for that Christmas magic we had when we were little. And for some it is hard to forget the misery of a traumatizing Christmas childhood.
We deal with all of this during any normal year. But alas, this is 2020. They have thrown another ball at us to juggle. Covid19. Those who look forward to the gatherings will now experience the loneliness. Those who are used to the extravagance may now be the ones who are homeless or hungry. And those cookies? Forget it! Can’t eat something that someone else has baked. Toys for the children? Not this year. Grandma’s home cooked feast? Well. If she is still alive from surviving Covid, you can’t visit her or you may potentially kill her.
WE ARE ALL EXERIENCING THE DEPRESSION THIS YEAR.
Those of us who live it 365 days normally are just better at hiding it.
So while somebody might look like this.
On the inside. They may very much feel like this.
Never assume anything.